How the Punishment dished out by Satan led me to Salvation

1 Corinthians 5:5
To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

When I read this verse, I immediately developed a humility towards God that I did not even think was possible. A light went on in my head as I had an aha moment, realizing that I too went through such a thing, where I was delivered unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh...a kind of spiritual horror.

Have you ever felt like you were in hell by request of a higher power, and not by your own deliberate choice?

Well, when I landed in St.Lucia three years ago I knew that was the case. I was greeted by an evil presence, foreign to me since the last time I lived there as a teenager. This presence stayed with me as I went about settling into a different life and culture from what I was used to in the United States. I did all the standard things such as finding a place to live, seeking employment, socializing, networking, shopping and so on. In everything I did I literally felt the presence of the devil. It got to the point where I felt imprisoned. All pleasures suddenly felt like horrors, like I was doing something very wrong. I started asking myself if I was breaking God’s laws just by living.

At one point, my heart stopped and my life was resuscitated for what was further punishment, with a glimmer of hope.

All kinds of temptations came my way but I refused to give into them except for the occasional gluttony which I used to suppress sexual desires. Then I started attending church services where I felt at times like the devil incarnate but continually resisting evil. On two occasions, I was sprinkled with holy water and it was like I jumped out of my skin. I sought guidance from church elders and religious counselors and discovered prayer. I started praying, at first a couple times a day, but that only made my strife worse. Eventually I was spending most of my day in prayer and reading the Holy Bible. Sleepless nights were also spent in prayer. I got an insight from my readings about speaking in tongues. I tried it, after which I had fewer sleepless nights.

Many of my prayers started  turning to praises to God and thanksgiving to the heavenly hosts of angels and saints as it dawned on me during self-reflection that most of what I called normal based on the culture I was raised in was quite damning to my soul and destructive to my overall well-being, despite the cultural normalcy that I had attached to them, both from home life and social life. Then came the rejection from turning my back on the norms of my upbringing. I made choices and choices were forced upon me which led to a sort of spiritual cleansing. Imagine having to throw out most of what you think is normal and right! Talk about being born-again? At least, that’s how I can describe it because I had that aha moment.  I found myself facing poverty, homelessness, losing friends and loved ones all from having acknowledged through my own experiences that God loves me and that Jesus his son, surely died for my salvation from sin. In the same process I am gaining new connections with other born-again people.  

Satan was used in my life to chastise and punish all those worldly things and to opened my eyes to the love and saving grace of Jesus so that the holy spirit is my guide now and not my sins, which I didn't know were sins until I was saved. A cruel and horrific way to get on the road to salvation but so it was. If you can identify with this message please feel free to leave a comment below.