Thank you God

Thank you God for rest and for waking me up this Sunday morning. I trust you in all things and yes it is frightening and it feels like I am losing my mind. However, I praise you for delivering me from danger while I wait on you.  I pray that as your will is done in my life, that you give me eyes to see like you see, ears to hear like you hear, that the words I speak are your words and that my actions reflect your glory. Let your will be done in the lives of my family, friends, acquaintances and enemies; because it is in knowing the futility of the will of man compared to your will heavenly father, that I have come to fear you and love you even more. Protect my loved ones from the wickedness and evil of spiritual snares as they wait on you. Amen

"The eye of the Lord is on those that fear him, he delivers them from danger and keeps them alive." 

Waiting on God

This came in handy today in the name of patience while I am waiting on God.
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Heart: The courage and will to live

2 Timothy 1:7

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 

King James Version (KJV)

The Power of Love:

Take courage that God wills it

Take courage that gratitude expresses it

Take courage that redemption preserves it

Take courage in enduring pain for it

Take courage in refusing pleasure for it 

Have You Ever Renounced God?

Job2:9 Then said his wife unto him, “Dost thou still retain thine integrity? Curse God, and die!"

Have you ever been in such despair and suffering that you renounced the very existence of God and all God's doctrines? Of course many Christians have! Meaning, surely you have said things like :

God does not exist.

God is fake.

The bible is fake.

I came to a point where I renounced  God, the idea of Adam and Eve, angels, prophets and the Holy Bible itself which includes therefore Jesus and his teachings, Satan and the Holy Spirit. My soul was in pain, my heart was in pain, my mind was in pain. But how could this be when I loved God with all my heart, mind and soul? Does loving God mean excruciating pain? It made no sense to me, that kind of debilitating 💘 and so I renounced it. If you can identify, please leave a comment below.

How the Punishment dished out by Satan led me to Salvation

1 Corinthians 5:5
To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

When I read this verse, I immediately developed a humility towards God that I did not even think was possible. A light went on in my head as I had an aha moment, realizing that I too went through such a thing, where I was delivered unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh...a kind of spiritual horror.

Have you ever felt like you were in hell by request of a higher power, and not by your own deliberate choice?

Well, when I landed in St.Lucia three years ago I knew that was the case. I was greeted by an evil presence, foreign to me since the last time I lived there as a teenager. This presence stayed with me as I went about settling into a different life and culture from what I was used to in the United States. I did all the standard things such as finding a place to live, seeking employment, socializing, networking, shopping and so on. In everything I did I literally felt the presence of the devil. It got to the point where I felt imprisoned. All pleasures suddenly felt like horrors, like I was doing something very wrong. I started asking myself if I was breaking God’s laws just by living.

At one point, my heart stopped and my life was resuscitated for what was further punishment, with a glimmer of hope.

All kinds of temptations came my way but I refused to give into them except for the occasional gluttony which I used to suppress sexual desires. Then I started attending church services where I felt at times like the devil incarnate but continually resisting evil. On two occasions, I was sprinkled with holy water and it was like I jumped out of my skin. I sought guidance from church elders and religious counselors and discovered prayer. I started praying, at first a couple times a day, but that only made my strife worse. Eventually I was spending most of my day in prayer and reading the Holy Bible. Sleepless nights were also spent in prayer. I got an insight from my readings about speaking in tongues. I tried it, after which I had fewer sleepless nights.

Many of my prayers started  turning to praises to God and thanksgiving to the heavenly hosts of angels and saints as it dawned on me during self-reflection that most of what I called normal based on the culture I was raised in was quite damning to my soul and destructive to my overall well-being, despite the cultural normalcy that I had attached to them, both from home life and social life. Then came the rejection from turning my back on the norms of my upbringing. I made choices and choices were forced upon me which led to a sort of spiritual cleansing. Imagine having to throw out most of what you think is normal and right! Talk about being born-again? At least, that’s how I can describe it because I had that aha moment.  I found myself facing poverty, homelessness, losing friends and loved ones all from having acknowledged through my own experiences that God loves me and that Jesus his son, surely died for my salvation from sin. In the same process I am gaining new connections with other born-again people.  

Satan was used in my life to chastise and punish all those worldly things and to opened my eyes to the love and saving grace of Jesus so that the holy spirit is my guide now and not my sins, which I didn't know were sins until I was saved. A cruel and horrific way to get on the road to salvation but so it was. If you can identify with this message please feel free to leave a comment below.

I Shall Not Want Because I Let God

I shall not want

To ask or receive

To come or go

To eat or drink

To swim or fly

To give or take

To seek or find

To be noticed or ignored

To love or to be loved

I shall not want for myself

I shall not want from others

I came up with this mantra based on the Psalm of David below. It was at at a time in my life when I felt stuck, and it expressed for me an absolute dependence on God to put me in a place of freedom. Have you ever felt so stuck, that you let go and let God? During that time I had a couple of vivid dreams. In one, I was pulled out by my left hand from a volcanic, fiery red furnace. In an other I succumbed to the ocean and I was drowning with no struggle, when I was saved by a boat with two occupants, the elderly captain who placed a dry towel on my wet shoulders and an lithe rastaman who was in a separate cabin. In the third vivid dream, I was part of a ritualistic ceremony in a cemetery where naked familiars were giving blood sacrifices over my body in the wet dirt.

As scary as these dreams were, I continue to let go and let God, the master creator. The Lord is my shepherd and I shall not want.

If you can identify with this mantra or my dreams, feel free to leave a comment.

Psalms 23:1-6  The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

http://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=kjvstudybible.bible.kjv.bibleverses.bibleoffline

Me Unedited: Who Am I?

MY FREE WRITING  SELF-REFLECTION 

God is good. God is great. I am poor in spirit. I lower my eyes in my wretchedness. I try to find peace with God on a daily basis. This is sometimes very painful. I do not believe personally that it should be painful because Jesus Christ son of the living God has mercy by having conquered the world for my salvation. Yet it is so.

It makes me wonder therefore why there is pain when I love the living God with all my mind, heart and soul. I take comfort in the bible knowledge that all believers worldwide suffer a similar affliction because it is written that we are persecuted worldwide. I take comfort also in what I have coined The Beatitudes Attitude where Jesus son of the living God said blessed are the poor in spirit. I strive for this happiness because I believe that it leads to eternal life.

The pain is sometimes mind-boggling and makes me aware of the cruelty in the world such that sometimes one almost forgets the fruits of the spirit which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and the caveats of all caveats self-control. Most days I fight for self-control. This afflicts me and leaves me poor in spirit and I am also poor in the world since I have no income or employment. This makes me sad that such things exist in modern times where it seems that the whole world runs on money.

I try daily to focus not on money but on the love of the living God in my life and the lives of other poor people. The living God is our heavenly father whose will on earth is done as it is in heaven. It takes a lot of faith to believe and live the prayer from Jesus : “ Our Father who art in heaven: hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our DAILY bread AND forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have trespassed against us. Lead us, NOT into temptation, but deliver us from evil in our day.”

Jesus has given us this faith by coming into the world and declaring God his heavenly father as also our heavenly father. I believe that the amount of courage it took for him to live in the world with his sights on heaven cannot be fathomed by me or the limited human mind. Not only did he have to live as a man, the type of man he came to take to heaven; but he also had to die, and resurrect AND ascend into heaven with witnesses of all the above events. He could have come as a rich, wealthy man along the lines of the great wealth of the old testament but instead he came as a pauper in the world but rich in godliness and godly assuredness: which is to say, holy righteousness.

In as much as I am not holy, I know that my lack of holiness does not deny my entry into heaven. I pray that every man, woman and child in the world gets to experience Jesus in their life as it is written in the Holy Bible.

The bible is called holy not because the men who wrote it are holy but because the words are holy, that is, of God; for no man is holy, not even the Pope of the Vatican. Then”Holy” is the Holy Spirit which Jesus left with us since Jesus himself wrote none of the biblical scrolls.

We must love our worldly friends, acquaintances, and worldly enemies because they are not the ones whom we battle. The battle is between the Holy Spirit and the evil spirits. We ourselves have been given the gift of the Holy Spirit, the evil spirits do not know what it is or understand it. This brings affliction in my belief. The world is so plagued by evil spirits that calling upon the Holy Spirit to help you causes you pain. God does not allow us to suffer in vain; for as much as we are persecuted for forsaking evil, we are rewarded in heaven a hundredfold. This is a fact despite all illusions to the contrary. Evil spirits cannot win over the Holy Spirit. This is impossible.

I therefore take great courage and comfort from the Holy Spirit and from the knowledge of Jesus and the army of angels, heavenly hosts, good spirits that he presides over in his father’s kingdom; a kingdom which he promises has a room or home for me, for us, if we follow him. How does one follow Jesus?

A popular concept among modern people is “ what would Jesus do?” I believe that this is a lofty unreachable goal, for we cannot do what Jesus did for obvious reasons. So, how do I follow Jesus? I make choices based on free will and self-control regardless of the evil spirits roaming the world. The free will is the will of God on earth, as it is in heaven. I seek first the kingdom of heaven. Once that is done, all things are given by God in the name of Jesus his son, in due season. Jesus told us to ask God his father for anything in his name, and it will be given us. How I have asked! Sometimes I feel like all I do is ask; so where is the manifestation of those things that I asked for, being granted?

1. Peace of mind in my love of God with all my heart, mind and soul
2. Peace of mind that I have honored my earthly father and mother
3. Peace of mind that my past sins of fraud, theft, greed, coveting, excess spending, excess partying, excess fornication and promiscuity, self-abuse, murderous thoughts, highness and pride: are forgiven, because I asked in the name of Jesus for them to be forgiven.
4. Peace of mind that I avoid the effects of further sin.

It seems therefore that my kingdom of heaven is peace of mind, and the devil knows this and tries to take it away. I was told once to ignore the devil. It makes intrinsic sense now because if I respect God in the kingdom of heaven, the devil must be avoided. The devil was thrown out into the world and the depths of the world, so certainly the devil cannot still be in the kingdom of heaven or part of my heavenly inheritance. Jesus spoke with the devil during his temptations because he is the son of the living God and now that I am writing this, I see that we do not have to do any such thing for him to go away.

It is important to reiterate that people themselves are not devils, and so we love everyone and focus on Godly spirits and the kingdom of heaven. In loving everyone, we are commanded also to love our neighbor as Jesus loves us; which leads us to believe that everyone is not our neighbor; so as much as I love everyone, I believe that my neighbors are predetermined by Jesus who has prepared a place for me, and them in heaven, his father’s kingdom. My only job on earth is to merit eternal life by seeking first the kingdom of God. Ultimately I follow Jesus by seeking the kingdom of our heavenly father God, all while keeping their

commandments and statutes. Amen.